Dear Abby: Guilt keeps spouse in wedding to man battling with PTSD

Dear Abby: Guilt keeps spouse in wedding to man battling with PTSD

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DEAR ABBY: i’ve been married to my hubby for 17 years. After a long period, we discovered some depression was had by him problems. 10 years ago, he stopped working and has been at home ever since after he was diagnosed with PTSD.

We work regular, settle the debts, care for the young kids, run the errands, drop the youngsters off at training, clean your house, every thing! He does absolutely absolutely nothing but rest. He remains during sex for several days at a time and showers once weekly. We now haven’t slept within the exact same space in 5 years.

I’m so lonely. We hate being hitched to him, and I’m perhaps perhaps perhaps not sure exactly exactly exactly how their despair impacts my children. He takes medication but will not view a specialist. I do want to keep and possess a life. I’m stuck in this wedding away from guilt. just just What do i actually do? — HAD IT IN KENTUCKY

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DEAR HAD IT: Make a consultation yourself with an authorized mental medical expert to go over your position as well as your shame. Please try this just before have mental or real breakdown through the anxiety you will be under.

For your children’s sake — because you are all they have while I sympathize with your husband’s mental problems, the fact that he refuses to do all he can to fix them tells me it is time to take care of yourself. Since your husband’s meds are no longer working, he must have mentioned that fact years back towards the physician that has been prescribing them.

DEAR ABBY: For the friend’s birthday, we sent a $150 food delivery present card, saying to place it toward dishes when I visited for 3 days the following week. He called, said I had been “cheap” and said it absolutely was maybe not a “gift” if it included cash that could be used on myself.

Our company is brand new buddies while having never ever exchanged gift suggestions. Please assist me realize if I happened to be improper. — MEANT PERFECTLY IN UTAH

DEAR MEANT WELL: You have made a mistake that is honest. But, that which you did was less improper than your friend’s ungracious reaction, that has been insulting that is just plain. Regarding the next gift-giving occasion — if you should be nevertheless friends — send him a guide on etiquette, only for him.

DEAR ABBY: a trip is being planned by me to go to my buddy in England. We learned abroad 2 yrs ago, and I’m excited to return to my old stomping grounds and reminisce.

I got very near to this buddy while I happened to be here, therefore we talk on Facebook once in awhile. Demonstrably, due to the distance, we aren’t close friends, but we nevertheless start thinking about ourselves “trans-Atlantic siblings.”

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I’m on quite a tight budget and wish to start planning for costs. Would it not be rude to inquire about her if i could stick to her? Or can I simply require suggestions about places to keep and determine if she provides? — TOURIST IN TEXAS

DEAR TRAVELER: if she suggests it while it wouldn’t be rude to ask, I vote for the latter option and see. (She may very well.)

Abigail Van Buren

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